Control

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I always thought I was a patient person, I’ve literally only yelled twice in my life and I am 21 years old. Except when I am hungry, I turn into an impatient monster. I realized I was only patient, because I put myself into situations that I could control. I am a huge advocate of healthy living, and pride myself on being fit ( I am very competitive). I also like structure and being busy. During the school year, I am usually busy from 7:00 am to 10:00pm. I am usually busy playing soccer, working out, studying, working, and trying to make sure I am constantly in the loop and there for my friends and family. I have a good grasp on my food intake, exercise, my knowledge for tests, and my capabilities as an athlete.

Last year I threw all of that control away, when I moved to live in the Canadian Rocky Mountains (literally), and it was amazing. I got hired at the Fairmont in Lake Louise, which was a 5 star hotel embedded in the mountains, and it was two hours away from any real civilization. I realized quickly, that control is not a thing. It started during the 40 hour car ride to get to Lake Louise, me and my sister were fueled by granola bars, chipotle, and whatever else there was. Then it didn’t take long for me and my sister to get into a fight, and I decided to go for a run to get some space. I kept tripping and getting distracted by the mountains and only could run up and down one street to ensure I wouldn’t get lost. Knowing me I would take one wrong turn, get lost, and my sister would have to call a search and rescue team. More about Lake Louise later.

Another school year later, and I start the uncomfortable battle of not having control. The flip-flop from having control, and my commitments, such as, school, sports and work, to picking up and going somewhere I’ve never been. Honestly, I can never quite comprehend the things I am about to take on. I’m set to go to Italy in a couple weeks, and be a nanny, and I’ve never been on an international flight (I’m terrified of planes). I am currently on a trip in Montreal, and I’m loving it, but I was irritated and I found out why. I have very little control. I am eating many granola bars, because I don’t want to stray to far from my healthy eating, but I also want to eat poutine and try all of the crazy food in Montreal. I can’t read menus or anything because everything is in French, and my phone died while I was taking a picture of the Ben and Jerrys store. It’s probably pretty obvious I am not from Montreal. I have this painful, uncomfortable look on my face, when I am about to talk to someone, because I don’t know if they will respond in English or French. I will also wait at a stop light to cross the street, and then when it changes to the walking sign, I get distracted by something, change my mind, and walk in the opposite direction to go someplace else. Other things I have noticed in Montreal, people are not as smiley, and I feel like it is very easy to get hit by a car here.

Here’s to an interesting road ahead, and I will probably go deal with my emotions by eating a poutine.

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